Fr. Kevin Boucher
2 Samuel 12:7-10,13; Galatians 2:16,19-21; Luke 7:36-8:3
“I am sorry;” three simple words; three very easy words to pronounce. But when put together into one sentence three of the hardest words to utter. “I am sorry,” is hard to say for a variety of reasons. First of all it means swallowing our pride and admitting our mistake. Secondly it puts us at risk. What if the person doesn’t forgive us? Where does that leave us? What if saying these words only hurts the person even more?
But perhaps the hardest reason to say the words “I am sorry” is that we must actually mean it. This means that in the future we are going to amend our behavior. In the future we are not going to do the very thing for which we are apologizing.
”I am sorry” are words that we teach our little children when we know they are old enough to understand that they have done wrong. Two little children are playing and get into a fight. One of them hits the other one and we tell them “Say you’re sorry.” If the perpetrator really means it this usually brings an end to the disagreement.
Then when children are old enough to understand the consequences of their sin we bring them to the sacrament of reconciliation. In this the Church teaches very clearly that it is not enough to simply come forward and say we are sorry. We must mean it by practicing contrition, that is, a change of heart. We must be willing to work, through God’s grace, at amending our lives. We must be willing to stop committing whatever sin it is we have confessed. Otherwise our confession is not effective. We are not truly sorry for what we have done. If we were, by the grace of God, we would stop doing it.
This is the key to having right relationships with others. If we have offended them in any way, we must ask their forgiveness. Having received this gift from them then we must stop doing whatever it is that hurt them. We must amend our lives.
There is nothing more freeing than to have the one we have hurt by our sin say “I forgive you.”
But sin has a way of consuming us, of taking over our lives. Once we have developed a particular habit of sin it is extremely difficult to break the habit. In our embarrassment we also might find ourselves avoiding the one we have hurt. We can tend to brood over our sin. If we brood over our sin, our wrongdoing, without going to the person we have offended, the relationship becomes further strained. Time does not heal all wounds when we have hurt other people. Avoiding going to the one we have hurt is a bad mistake that only further complicates the problem. Beating ourselves up over our wrongdoing is also not helpful at all. Rolling in the muck is not the way to get clean. We must instead make amends for what we have done and vow to behave better in the future.
Every sin we commit hurts others. That is why it is so important to say “I am sorry.” If we never take the time to say the words, “I am sorry,” we will never know the freedom that comes from being forgiven by the one we have hurt.
Now some sins are so serious, or have become such a pattern in our life, that we need extra help to eliminate them. This was the case of the woman in today’s gospel. She was a very serious sinner. We don’t know what her sin was. The gospel doesn’t say. Some have said that she was a prostitute. But perhaps she was just a gossip or a thief. Or perhaps she was living with a man who was not her husband. We do not know. And whatever sin she committed is not important. What is important is that she realized in her heart the seriousness of her sin and she knew she needed help to stop committing this sin. And so she turned to Jesus as the one and only source of healing for her soul. In her repentance she wept at his feet and lovingly served him by anointing his aching feet. As the story concludes Jesus speaks the most important words this woman could ever hear, “Your sins are forgiven. Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”
When we have seriously wronged another person we might need extra help to amend the situation. This help can come in the form of sacramental confession. It also might require some sort of professional counseling to mend the relationship. This is especially the case in our family relationships. Sadly, too many married couples today never really deal with their hurts. Instead they go on hurting each other, never really taking responsibility for their own sins and holding onto grudges against their spouse. If you are having difficulties in your marriage, if you have hurt your spouse or have been hurt by your spouse, then you might need some extra help to amend your relationship.
Still other sin might be related to an addiction. Alcohol and drugs, materialism and spending, gambling and over-eating, even sexual addictions are creating havoc in our society today. These particular sins require extra grace to overcome. Again the Sacrament of Reconciliation is very important if you struggle with an addiction. Treatment opportunities are also available, many of them based on the Catholic Spirituality. If we need help to overcome a particular sin then we need to take the steps necessary in asking for help and forgiveness.
Finally, forgiveness is the central message of our Christian faith. Christ came, to offer his life, for the forgiveness of our sins. If we truly want his mercy we need only turn to the one who has the power to forgive. So today, in this Eucharist, let us ask for the grace to amend our lives. Let us ask for the forgiveness we all need. Then, let us ask for the grace to be instruments of forgiveness and reconciliation in our world.
