What Everyone Need To Know About
PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE
As Celebrated In the Faith Community of Nativity Parish

"The Relationship Of The Parish and A Couple To Be Married"

The Nativity Parish Liturgical Commission offers to the members of the Faith Community this brief guide to the process of courtship and marriage and the rites and rituals that accompany that process. The Commission invites you to take time to study these pages because you are married or because you know someone who will be married. The marriage of two engaged people in this faith community worship space invites a response and commitment from the community. This overview can prove helpful in clarifying parishioners' role as members of the faith community each and every time the Sacrament of Marriage is celebrated in this Parish. The desire of the Liturgical Commission is to make all aware of the possibilities the Church offers us to support and encourage the union of a man and woman in marriage. The wedding liturgy is a rich and wonderful treasure. Nativity Parish wants to unlock its full potential with all couples who will celebrate their marriage with the people of the Nativity faith community who minister to them.

 

MARRIAGE: A SHORT HISTORY
Marriage existed eons before Christ or Christianity. Marriage was elevated to a Sacrament of the Church in the 12^th century. The concept of marriage changed from a merely advantageous union designed to pass on name and property to the celebration of a grace-­bearing reality. Over the years, the Church's understanding of marriage grew. To the meaning of marriages once understood singular purpose, namely, the procreation of children, the Church joins the meaning of the mutual love of spouses. The mutual love is expressed in a mature and rightly ordered way. It is not a contract but a covenant, a Sacrament of the Church. Marriage in the Church became not just a legal entity but also a vehicle for holiness. The two who are married become a symbol of Christ's ever-constant love for he Church in their life process of loving each other.

 

WHAT IS A PREPARATION PROCESS AND NATIVITY
Couples are asked to meet with one of the priests or deacon, and the liturgist, six months before the time of the planned wedding date.  This provides time for faith sharing with priest, sponsoring couple (a married couple prepared to walk with the couple planning marriage through marriage preparation process), and an opportunity to take part in a marriage preparation seminar or engaged encounter.  Couples also fill out a relationship assessment to reveal strengths and work areas.  If any potential problems appear, counseling may be suggested.  Preparation for the wedding liturgy is done in consultation with the parish liturgist.

 

ROLE OF BELIEVING COMMUNITY
The marriage liturgy is an action of the ENTIRE CHURCH in whose presence two people commit themselves to each other.  It is not a private family function, nor is it merely a social affair or personal expression of the couples love.  Because it is worship above all else, it is celebrated with the assembly, using songs and acclamations that along to the assembly.  Full, conscious, and active participation of the assembly is the goal of each liturgy celebrated.

Upon seeing the bands of marriage posted in our parish bulletin, the believing community can remember in prayer of those preparing for marriage.  Whether or not the couple is known personally, letters of encouragement can be set to the couple.  Cards for couples can be left in the parish office.

Just as we commit ourselves to the parents and child of the day of Baptism, so too, the people of God, the faith community, commits itself to couples giving the Sacrament of marriage to each other.  We, the community of faith, offer our parish that their union might be another example of Christ's love for us, the Church.  Those in the assembly are invited to reaching it to their own married involves or celibate lives to live as witnesses to those to be married.

It is the privilege and rite of all in the parish to join in the celebration of marriage of two people in our worship space.  We need no formal imitation.  It is our duty to support all marriage couples.  We are invited to the celebration because we are members of the "family", the family of faith

 

THE RITES
Often when we think of "a wedding day", it brings to mind exorbitant costs for all the "extras" society places on us as a socially acceptable way to plan and execute a wedding, e.g., special clothes, fancy meals, gifts, photos, and bachelor and bride parties. The Church offers much more for less. The Church offers simplicity, ritual and ritual music, support, and company on the journey. Only two witnesses are necessary, not five or six. The assembly and couple take part in the liturgy as participants rather than as spectators DOING rather having DONE UNTO. Modesty and good stewardship are always representative of the Church regarding all aspects of the celebration. Through acclamation, the People of God give support to the couple to live out their vocation.

What liturgical functions can the bride and groom do? The bride and groom, as ministers of hospitality, can greet people as they arrive. The bride and groom can also be ministers of the Eucharist at the time of communion.

Within the liturgical rite of marriage at Nativity Church, the bride and groom come to the faith community either as 1) a couple or 2) or with their parents. Most importantly they come as TWO people who have people discerned their mutual love and now wish to come before the community and have the assembly witness their giving of this sacrament to each other. The bride is not "given in marriage" by a father, given away as he would a possession. Nor does the groom take ownership of the women he marries.

As with other liturgies and based on the RCIA (the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults), the wedding party gathers at the baptistry through which the bride and groom entered into the community of faith. They state clearly their INTENTION and CONSENT to marry. The procession follows with the cross bearer and book bearer, priest, attendants and the bride and bridegroom. This reflects the Church's teaching regarding marriage as a covenant relationship undertaken by two equal partners. If accompanied by parents, this procession acknowledges the transition for the bride and groom from their families of origin to the new family they are creating through marriage.

The couple and all present then take part in the Liturgy of the Word, sitting and standing as called for by the posture of the liturgy. The Word is proclaimed, the psalm sung, the homily given. The Marriage Rite itself consists of two very important symbols the exchange of Vows and Rings. So they might be heard by all present, the couple and attendants are positioned on the sanctuary steps facing the assembly. Upon witnessing the exchange of vows and rings, the assembly responds with a sung acclamation of witness and support.  The vows and Eucharist are the primary signs of unity.

Couples may select scripture, music, and ministers.  If celebrated at a Sunday liturgy, through of the Sunday readings must be proclaimed.  The couple may select you the first or second reading.

For the marriage of two Catholics, the celebration could continue with the Eucharist.  Usually for at an interface marriage, the rite continues with the Nuptial Blessing (prayer over the couple), the Our Father (prayed aloud by all gathered), and the Final Blessing (over the assembly).

 

MUSIC
Though not all weddings are celebrated in the context of Eucharist, the shape of the rite and the music reflect what happens on Sunday.  The gathering song, Eucharist ticketing gospel acclamations, solve the communion song are song with the assembly's participation.  Solo pieces may be song before the Wedding Ceremony or at the preparation of altar and gifts.

 

SYMBOLS
Real flowers are important to the Wedding Ceremony.  As a sign of hope and new life, we come before God with our real selves, all of pretenses fallen away.  Reeve brings to this celebration praise of God, God's real creation, not an imitation of it in silk or paper.  Garden flowers, blooming potted plants, plants from home or friends, simple flowers stands and green to carry make real flowers affordable.  The worship space is designed to focus on the Eucharist or the action of the moment.  Therefore, even the smallest floral arrangement is readily noticeable.

A deceased family member can the remembered by placing off all or arrangement at the base of the cross and naming the person(s) in a petition and/or in the worship aid.  At each liturgy, six altar candles are lit.  Candelabra are not necessary.  The cross and gospel book can be carried in the procession.

 

A TIME FOR CELEBRATION OF MARRIAGE
Marriages may be celebrated Friday evenings after 5:00 P.M. and Saturdays at 10:00 A.M. or 2:00 P.M. They may also be celebrated at any Sunday liturgy  (Saturday's at 5:00 P.M., Sunday's at 8:00 A.M., 9:15 A.M., 10:45 A.M., 12: 15 P.M. (12: 15 only on from mid-October through mid-April). We do not celebrate a separate wedding liturgy after the liturgies for Sunday have begun (Saturday evening). Weddings celebrated within the context of the Sunday liturgy follow the same pattern as a wedding celebrated on Friday evening or Saturday, i.e., gathering at the baptistry, procession, and other rites. Ministers from the faith community and the family are called to serve the assembly.

 

THE PARISH OFFERS ONGOING SUPPORT TO COUPLES AND FAMILIES
As a faith community, we are called to continue our support of married couples beyond the wedding day as they daily seek to live out the sacrament of marriage. Among the ways that Nativity offers such support are the following: homilies; articles in the VOICE; Lent/Advent booklets that nurture Christian living and prayer in the domestic church; awareness of and referral to Marriage Encounter; marriage enrichment programs and marriage counseling as needed; sacramental preparation that empowers parents as the primary educators; seasonal Family Nights; family-friendly Catholic schools; and liturgical celebrations sensitive to varying needs of the family.

We spend most of our time in our "domestic church" (our homes). We need to pursue ritual actions in this setting that augment and strengthen the rites that occur in the parish church. Perhaps the engagement of a couple could be ritualized in the domestic church setting. The lighting of a unity candle, not a part of the marriage rite, is a very appropriate domestic ritual - or a ritual done at the rehearsal dinner or the reception. The greatest gift members of Nativity can give to those anticipating, marriage - and to each other - is to assume responsibility to support all persons on their faith journey.

 

CONCLUSION
This pamphlet in no way includes everything there is to know about wedding liturgies. As a member of the parish it is important to learn more about all sacraments. Of utmost importance is the understanding, of the communal and individual nature of sacraments. As a parish family we need to question the "traditional" view of weddings espoused by society.

 

BUILD USE FEES:
$150.00 - If one of the couple is a member of the parish for at least one year, or who has a parent who is a member of the parish.
$300.00 - Non-members.